


an infinity with you

by blooming_Ednae



Series: OkaKuri Week 2019 [5]
Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: F/M, Okakuri Week 2019, okakuriweek2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 10:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20290033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooming_Ednae/pseuds/blooming_Ednae
Summary: “And once you find that answer, you’ll find out what ‘forever’ means, you know?”Kurisu finds herself contemplating on a certain word moments before her very important event; a conversation with Mayuri, however, sets her sights into perspective and leaves her with the reminder that not all things are concretely defined, and that sometimes, following your own emotions are the only way to understand what love really means.





	an infinity with you

**Author's Note:**

> And, last prompt for Okakuri Week 2019! Day 7: Forever.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> "Can you keep me close?  
Can you love me most?" ~ 'Someone to Stay' - Vancouver Sleep Clinic

“Forever” was a subjective term, Kurisu realized. A term to measure the immeasurable, based on the subjective and emotional point of view of a person’s experiences. It was the definition of the infinite, in order to capture what was unseen and form into a concrete idea that would eventually form fruition based on a person’s perspective.

The word itself was not scientific or rational; it was a basis which Kurisu couldn’t concern herself with. A life is measured by numeric years, and even that had its own inevitable end. She found herself to be very cynical and too honest for her own good, but she supposed it better prepared herself to justifying the whims of life. 

To justify certain situations, however, was a difficult task as she realized that some could not be justified as much as she thought it could be. 

The day of her own wedding taught her as such.

Moments before the doors would open for her entrance, she paced within the few small steps that her dress would allow her to; Mayuri had really outdone herself with the dress she had made for Kurisu. It was a simple gown, what she had requested, accompanied with a long train, filled with detailed embellishments and small flowers which delicately spotted different areas. It was a lot to walk in, but much to Kurisu’s dismay, the dress was very comfortable and movable, and she couldn’t thank the younger girl enough for wanting to engage in such a project. 

She paced outside the doors, the rest of the wedding party already lined up and ready to walk down the aisle. As the audience indoors began to arrange themselves to prepare for the opening, Kurisu found herself contemplating on the very thought of “forever” repeatedly; what did it mean for her, personally? What did it mean to be bound to someone for the rest of her life? Was it something she could give herself into, exposing all of her imperfections and vulnerabilities to a person who was a stranger before? 

A stranger who so happened to have seen her so many different world lines. A stranger who grew to love her despite all her shortcomings. 

...it’s not that she doubted her soon-to-be spouse. There was the concept of being with someone for a definite amount of years - the rest of her life - that had her mind spinning, and truly wondering what “forever” meant. 

Everyone used that word when it came to weddings. And it kept running through her mind.

A soft touch on her shoulder distracted her from her thoughts, and she was met with the soft yet concerned gaze of Mayuri, who stared at her with curious eyes. 

“Is everything okay…? Are you having a hard time in the dress…?”

Kurisu smiled at her in return and shook her head. “The dress is fine; and I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

Mayuri frowned, her mind clearly in a working process. With a small smile, she grasped Kurisu’s hand with a gentle hold, her smaller hands wrapping around Kurisu’s.

“Mayushii can tell there is something on your mind; if you don’t want to talk about it now, that’s okay because Mayushii will always be here, okay?”

Kurisu returned the smile, but the feelings in her heart couldn’t find definitive words, so she merely nodded.

“Thank you, Mayuri. I just….”   
  


As Kurisu trailed off, Mayuri tilted her head to one side with concern. She rubbed her hand over Kurisu’s with a small circle and she frowned a bit as she did this.

“Mayushii feels like you’re hesitant.”

“I’m…” Kurisu was taken aback but she knew Mayuri had it already on point and she sighed.

“I’m not hesitant I just...” she sighed, sucking in her pride.

“I’m just curious what ‘forever’ means,” she finally admitted. “That’s all people always mention at these kinds of things, and as a scientist, it’s…”

She trailed off as she looked at the younger girl, who still had the same bright smile as earlier. There was a blank look in her eyes as she tried to comprehend Kurisu’s feelings, and Kurisu shook her head, attempting to simplify the feeling in more simple words.

“It’s...never mind, I just don’t know...what I’m feeling.”

Mayuri frowned for a bit and paused before lightly squeezing Kurisu’s hands. She closed her eyes momentarily before speaking, and when she finally did, she smiled, eyes still closed.

“You know, Mayushii doesn’t know what that whole feeling feels like,” she started, “but Mayushii thinks...the first thing you should ask yourself is if you love Okarin.”

She opened her eyes and beamed as she looked up at Kurisu, who looked slightly red flushed as Mayuri mentioned the statement. She laughed with a warm smile on her face.

“And once you find that answer, you’ll find out what ‘forever’ means, you know?”

Before Kurisu could respond, the usher began to gather the wedding party together in preparation for lining up to march down the aisle. Mayuri gave one last squeeze to Kurisu’s hand and a reassuring smile, before turning around to walk away. Before she walked away, however, she looked back at Kurisu one more time, eyes beaming with bittersweet pride.

“Let your heart do the talking, okay, Kurisu-chan? And things will fall into place after that.”

Kurisu could only stand speechless; even as the doors opened, the feeling was still left not defined and it unsettled her, but surprisingly, it calmed her with anticipation growing in her heart.

He was someone of a different kind; she knew the moment that she had said “yes” to the rest of her life with him, a few insecurities came to take hold of his heart.

_ Was he good enough? Was he too broken for her? _

But, she thought as she took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, that was what this wedding was to signify: a  _ bond  _ to solidify that she would accept him as he is, to love and embrace the good and bad experiences which he held to himself. It was a partnership built on the foundation of devotion because in the end, this was the beginning of a journey between herself and him. 

She smiled to herself for a bit as she realized all of this. She too, can now see the ‘forever’ which he saw in her; he saw it the moment he proposed to her.

_ Forever _ was different for everyone.

_ Forever _ was a measure of the infinite.

_ Forever _ was a stand still of time.

And  _ forever, _ Kurisu realized as she stood at the beginning of the aisle about to walk down, was that very moment, the beginning of something definite between her and an individual who jumped an infinity to find her.

_ Forever _ was defined in his golden eyes as they reflected the unspoken words of an infinite future together.

The moment was theirs; and that was all she needed to know as she walked forward, never breaking her gaze from his.


End file.
